Saturday, November 28, 2009

Humbling Thunder

As it is public knowledge that Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu is a wilderness survival expert, he still likes to humble himself by taking lessons from others. Thus the Trip to Mountain Shepherd Survival School, disguised ofcorce as to not intimidate the instructor a man named Reggie Bennett. Reggie was an instructor of the United States Military S.E.R.E. training and program given to all pilots as well as the different branches Special Forces (Rangers , Seals, Ect). That being said Mr. Bennett is well qualified to teach a course on the subject of survival to the average person and to give Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu a nice refresher.

All would have been fine, nice relaxing 4 days of sleeping under the stars cooking over a campfire and watching Reggie teach your run of the mill white collar how to tie knots and make fire. But, as the saying goes “No rest for the wicked” PETA will not allow a moments rest for our protagonist thus the relaxing 4 day jaunt turned into 4 days of terror for the others of the survival class and just another bunch of Veggie Protein eating miscreants the will not see another dawn for daring to muddle in the affairs of Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu.

The day started like you would imagine it would 5 strangers meeting their instructor and each other for the first time. Reggie introduced himself and asked how everyone was feeling; he did not want to take someone who is sick in to the wild and have their condition worsen making them a liability. After the group proclaiming that their health was good Bennett ask who has any medical training, normally Master Irekq would have the most knowledge of the subject but he was the as a profane and would differ to the instructor.

What happened next was not a surprise to Irekq but more like a “You have got to be kidding me!” moment for he now has to not only slaughter the herbivorous marauders of a PETA Death squad but he must also save the lives of the others in his group as well as the instructor. Well as you may have guessed once the group had arrived and their campsite so 100 miles from the nearest outhouse. The first shot was fired tearing almost in two the left shoulder of the 30 something school teacher who taking the course with her husband. As she screamed in agony the others hit the dirt.

The pain of a 7.62 mm (308 Remington) exploding threw ones shoulder is not to be taken lightly Irekq knows this pain having shot himself so that he would be able to show some compassion to who ever had the discourtesy of being shot in his presence. Reggie screams “STAY DOWN!! And someone put pressure on that wound.” Looking into Reggie’s eyes Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu speaks volumes about the situation. “You’re Him. Aren’t you? “is Reggie’s query. With a nod Master Irekq tells Mr. Bennett to wait for his signal then to make off the same direction of the first shot.

Understanding his purpose now Reggie will see to it that the others in the group are well hidden and safe for the carnage that is about to unfold. With the grace of a swan and an uncanny amount of speed and agility Master Irekq heads for the reprobate that just shot a woman in the back. Quickly he is spotted, the offender is 600 yards atop the adjacent ridge not a bad shot. The sniper was removed from his perch by the camping axe Master Irekq torpedoed into his shin. Taking his cue Reggie along with the others in the party help the injured woman by carrying her in the underbrush to better address her wound. The bullet went through the dainty frame of the woman and was bleeding profusely an application of Quick Clot and a pressure dressing has the team on the way to disappearing from sight. Normally Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu would want to keep them with him to keep them safe, but Reggie Bennett Mountain Shepherd would keep them hidden and tend to their fragile minds.

Once he was upon the despicable disgrace of a human Master Irekq asked “How many?” applying pressure to the head of the axe sticking out of his shin. “Arrrrghhh!” was the only reply. Again the question “How many?” is put forth this time it is punctuated with the camping axe being ripped from the blackguards one shin and plunged into his other. The number 6 is what is heard. “Is that including you?” Master Irekq queries. “. “Yes!” whimpers this sad creature. Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu nods and says “5” as the camping axe relieves the neck of the burden of his head.

Like all normal healthy people Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu has an interest in firearms so looking over this would be assassin’s weapon and knowing it to be Mauser 86 SR sniper rifle made in Germany he has an idea. After all it is hunting season. Over the course of the next 3 days Master Irekq toys with the others sent to kill him putting a bullet into their empty, thoughtless Vegan brains. Who does not like a little target practice?

Finding Reggie and the others held up in a very discretely hidden shelter some 7 miles from where it all began Master Irekq informs the group that it is all going to be ok the villain who shot the woman will no longer burden the Earth with his useless existence. No questions were asked as Master Irekq’s demeanor answered any they might have had. They knew he had done what needed to be done. Reggie of course wanted to refund the groups money but they all seemed to think that someone getting shot not withstanding this was a once in a life experience and was worth the price. As a whole the 5 men and one woman in took a vow of silence on the subject never to speak of it again.

Well there you go Ingrid you did so something good after all. Maybe there is so hope for you yet? VIVA LA BEEF!!!

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