Monday, October 12, 2009

The 285 th Day of Vinember

The alarm went off (Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu never needs an alarm to wake up. His senses are so acute that he just knows. This alarm is for this consort.) And Jess gracefully tapped the snooze button. She is so cute when she does that. Anyway, the time was 6:30 am and Jess had to shower and get ready for work. Her job at the hospital is a cover, not that he needs it but she aids Master Irekq in his endeavor to obliterate the malignant parasites of PETA. You see if the citizens of the mindless machine knew of the struggle between Master Irekq and the obscene and corrupt libertines bent on oppression of free will and world conquest, there would be mass hysteria and panic. The throngs of doltish sheep happy to settle down on their couches in snuggies and have their minds slowly sapped of all that is decent and conscientious by So You Think You can Dance, cannot handle the truth that the piece loving hinny biters of PETA are vile and impudent wretches. I digress.

6:39 am 285 th day of Vinember my consort is placing her dainty fingers on the snooze button for a second time. When the alarm goes off the third time she gets up turns it off and walks to the shower. Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu almost omniscient in his conscious and unconscious state senses something amiss. Maggie the ferocious companion of Master Irekq acknowledges the irritation and is excited. That dog loves lacerate the backsides of veggie-protein eating simpletons who dare to encroach upon her masters domain.

Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu takes pleasure in watching carnivorous canine "Play". Springing out of his bed walking downstairs his consort sees his Herculean form and begs him to take to her bed. "I have to let the dog out. I will be right there." She can never control her appetite for him. Maggie is waiting not so patiently at the front door. With the door ajar she rockets off the porch to the undercarriage of the Consorts Jeep. A quick faint scream of terror and then silence. "Take it out back, and stay." Master Irekq tells the dog. Maggie does as her master commands as he closes the door. In the bed room door Jess asks "What was that noise?" she really did not care consumed by the hunger the all women feel when they behold the majesty that is Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu in the buff.

"It is 11:00, you are late." Master Irekq tells his consort "I am a little worn out but I can go in if you think I should.”." No, get some rest dearest. I have to go outside and see what they tried to do to the Jeep this time." Maggie has the emaciated vegan criminal half eaten. We let her eat them for they are not human. To be human you must have some semblance of honor, a bomb to the consort’s car is by no means Honorable. "I will have to get her shots now. Who knows what that mentally defective cretin has." he thinks.
Yet another piece of compost for the back yard. Ingrid.. Ingrid.. Ingrid will you never learn. VIVA LA BEEF!!!!

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