Monday, December 28, 2009
Twas the Night before Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.
Maggie was tucked in, all snug in her bed,
While visions of dead vegans danced in her head.
Jess in her teddy, Irekq in the buff,
Having just made love Jess had had enough.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Irekq jumped from the bed, he knew what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew like a flash,
There were some PETA fools he would have to SMASH!
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of mid-day to the mongrels below.
When, what to his knowing eyes should appear,
But 8 stupid vegans attacking the sleigh, wanting to "free" the reindeer.
Out the window, so lively and quick,
Irekq knew in a moment he must save St Nick.
More rapid than eagles his fists and feet came,
And calmly he stated, "You villains are lame."
Now Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen,
Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen!
Were not held against their will at all.
Irekq will BASH AWAY! BASH AWAY! All.
As dried blood leaves a trail that none can deny
When Irekq fights vegans of course they will die.
So down from the house-top their bodies they flew,
He must slain the attackers, and save St Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, Jess heard on the roof
The begging and pleading of each little goof.
As he drove a fist into one vegans face, and then turned around,
Irekq saw that St Nicholas was gagged and bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
His bundle of toys were flung from his back,
Irekq then knew he must get those toys back!
His eyes-how they twinkled! Irekq so merry!
For the dead scoundrels of PETA Maggie would bury!
This troll little vegan was drawn and quartered just for show,
His blood ran freely on the fresh fallen snow.
The stump an arm was used to knock out some teeth,
And one vegans entrails were used as a wreath.
His foot went through one vegans belly,
Irekq then laughed at pile bowels shaking like a bowel full of jelly!
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
Irekq then smiled when he saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon Santa knew that he had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And spilled all the gray matter of one PETA jerk.
And crashing his fist into the side ones nose,
Then giving a boot to the nuts, into the sky he rose!
Santa was sprong from his bonds, to his team gave a whistle,
And away Santa flew like a cruse missile.
But Irekq heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and Damn what a fight!"