The Survival Savant

Mans Best Friend

2011-01-08T08:24:00.000-08:00

THE MASTER of Vinjitzu reads books of All subject matters. Just as a matter of Honor the only author he has ever condemned was Stephenie Meyer. She was working with P.E.T.A. He had ended her life for the whole Twoilet veggie thing. This script however, is not about that most betraying of tales. It is however about another kind of tail. The one belonging to the constant, implacable, and nefarious of K-9's. Maggie the Wonder Dog!

It was the morning after Christmas when Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu lay next to his consort after giving her the only present she ever wants. 24 hours of total satisfaction sexually. She was of couce asleep and would be for days. He however was awake reading Terry Prattchets The last Continent, when Maggie jumps up from her slumber looks at her Master then vaults 36 lbs of herself through the bedroom door. It should be said at this point that Maggie The Wonder Dog, as small as she may be, head not reaching more then 24". Master Irekq would NOT like to be on her bad side!

He looks at the hole in the bedroom door and shrugs thinking "I guess she's got it." The tenths of seconds between Maggie erupting through the solid core oak bedroom door and her MASTER knowing what she will do leaves him is trundle still reading Terry Prattchet. Those guys are in for some shit.

As loud as the splintering door was the P.E.T.A. hatch man had only enough time to piss his pants before Maggie had removed the testicles and right hand of the man at the door. The woman behind him that was trying to run away had her neck broken by this "HOUND FROM HELL" as she lepta from the front door and clamping her jowls on the "Bitches" collier and swinging around her head with the force and skill an Army Ranger. She landed on all fours turning to the face the door of HER home to see her MASTER flick his arm pointing and saying " Go on. Get them." And off she went after the "Speeding" ford fusion around the corner.

After hearing the crash and explosion here comes Maggie the Wonder Dog with a foot in her mouth. "You're not bringing that in here!" Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu tells her. In a state of defiance she comes up to the driveway the swallows the foot whole and sashays through the door. She better not get the runs. VIVA LA BEEF!

* Turning the corner with the petal to the metal I am craping my pants. I was expecting a man not a 2 1/2' blur of fur. I have never driven in reverse at 25mp before, but after seeing Alex have her head corkscrewed to the point that the snapping of her neck sounded like sequoia being broken in two I knew I had two run. That has to be the way out of here the first right . When I see the end of the cul-de-sac I pull the e break and as soon as I am 180 that is gargoyle charging at me.

* DUMB ASS! I am going to eat your foot. Ok, Here he comes. He has got to doing 20 mph and that windshield is nothing. I can take that out with my paws. So it is an other snap of a neck. Meaning a 180 & 180 on both axis. A push with the right hign leg will level the accelerator and face me the right way. Back through the same hole and a back paw spring over the car and I should have my toy foot. When that little car hits the trash truck that clutch foot should be mine.

Shoping List

2010-09-10T09:03:00.000-07:00

Keeping the pantry stocked with the right foods is very important.

Survival Food that makes life easier: These four foods can be stored for over 10 years and can add some flavor to your cooking. If stored properly they can probably last indefinitely.

1. Salt

2. Sugar – Brown or White

3. Honey

4. Alcohol – Whiskey, Vodka, etc…

Hard Grains: Stored properly hard grains have a shelf life of around 10 – 12 years.

1. Buckwheat

2. Dry Corn

3. Kamut

4. Hard Red Wheat

5. Soft White Wheat

6. Millet

7. Durum wheat

8. Spelt

Soft grains: These soft grains will last around 8 years at 70 degrees sealed without oxygen.

1. Barley,

2. Oats

3. Quinoa

4. Rye

Beans: Sealed and kept away from oxygen the following beans can last for around 8 – 10 years.

1. Pinto Beans

2. Kidney Beans

3. Lentils

4. Lima Beans

5. Adzuki Beans

6. Garbanzo Beans

7. Mung Beans

8. Black Turtle Beans

9. Black-eyed Beans

Flours and Mixes and Pastas: 5 – 8 years

1. All Purpose Flour

2. White Flour

3. Whole Wheat Flour

4. Cornmeal

5. Pasta

6. White Rice ( up to 10 years)

Oils:

1. Coconut oil – Coconut oil has one of the longest shelf lives of any kind of oil. It can last for over 2 years and is a great item to add to your survival food supplies list.

Other good survival foods: 2 – 5 years of shelf life

1. Canned Tuna

2. Canned Meats

3. Canned Vegetables & Fruits

4. Peanut Butter

5. Coffee

6. Tea

7. Ramen Noodles – not the greatest food in the world but they are very cheap so they made the survival food list.

8. Hard Candy

9. Powdered milk

10. Dried herbs and spices

Items that can be used for more than cooking:

1. Apple Cider Vinegar – Cleaning, cooking, and has antibiotic properties

2. Baking Soda – Cleaning, cooking, etc…

3. Honey – Mentioned again for its antibiotic properties and wound healing.

Non Food Items to stock up on at the grocery store:

1. Lighters

2. Toilet Paper

3. Soaps

4. Bottled Water

5. Vitamins

6. Medicines

7. Bandages

8. Peroxide

9. Lighter fluid

10. Canning Supplies

11. Charcoal

Thats Why I Hang My Hat in Tennessee

2010-05-22T11:39:00.001-07:00

85 degrees, class 6 white water and a kayak with the sturdy chest of Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu paddling his way down river. A holiday Master Irekq is taking alone. I know what you are thinking “What about his family? Without him they will be defenceless. Fear not they will be unmolested. Tucked safely in the enigmatical fortification designed and fabricated by Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu himself. This construct is not only hermetic it is a self-sustaining juggernaut of safe and peaceful living. Its location is not known to his Consort or the family of Master Irekq. He is the only one that knows it's whereabouts. No one will ever find it.

Back to the furlough. Outside of Gatlinburg, TN there is a little river that runs right through Moon Shine and Pot Country. You will come across a still or crop of a good old boy and kiss your ass good bye. Even if you manage to steer clear of pot plantation and the bastardized gain stills you have to look out for the booby traps that act as their sentinels. We are talking bear traps, shotguns hooked to trip lines, and anything else that a paranoid Hill-Billie can think of to protect his money.

Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu has never and will never be tricked by such traps because his senses are so acute that they are almost divine. The brawn of Master Irekq’s powerful chest are framed in a orange life jacket and his august face by the chin strap of the safety helmet provided by the rental company of the kayak he rides in. There is no need for the protection equipment, Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu could never drown nor his skull fracture on the rock of a river bed. At the check in counter he appeased the sweet clerk of the rafting company by wearing them. She had told him the insurance company requires that they be worn. The delightful 18 year old co-ed at the counter after going over the safety lecture presented herself as a guide saying she would like to “Show you some REAL SOUTHERN HOSPTAILITY.” With a little wink her proposition is ever so clear to him. All women upon meeting Master Irekq are instantly overwhelmed with wantonness. With little brush to the cheek he politely declines and he tells her his consort is more than enough woman for him.

Midway through the 40 mile river ride Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu sees a nice little eddy and a rock face in the water to have his lunch. As he wades his way to the rock and removes his pelican case carrying his consumables and small camping stove. This board consists of gruyere a German cheese, and loaf of Cubin bread. All that is left for this banquet to be complete is the wild black berries famous in this region and some bear meat.

Master Irekq picks up his pack removes the 550 cord he keeps in it and checks to see that his 8” Buck hunting knife is sharp enough to butcher the bear once he has caught it. So into the danger ridden timberland he sets out to hunt his game. While he is out here he considers maybe picking up a little shine for a night cap. It is not very long before he finds a trap. This one is quite elaborate in that it is a counter weighted snare trap that once it’s pray is caught it will hang it there so that the perverted fruitcake can come along and make who ever is caught in it squeal like a pig.

Avoided easily enough, he soon finds the shanty housing the still. He walks up and knocks on the door, as it swings open wildly. He dodges it with a back flip kicking the HK G36 assault rifle into the air where he immediately grabs it spinning it to point it at the man with the dumb look on his face. “Take me away pig.” he delivers, “No cops here.” is his reply.”Can I buy some shine?” is his query. The toothless redneck cocks his head to the side and with a tone of caution and hesitation he says “$20 fer a quart.” Irekq pays the man, and empty’s the magazine of the assault rifle giving it back to the hayseed assuring the man his secret is safe. A punch in the face and getting knocked out, is a sure way to not get shot in the back.(Like that would happen.)

Leaving the camp he fashions a bow with the 550 cord and wildling a couple of arrows, Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu sits in waiting at the end of the trail left behind by the bear he has tracked. 20 minutes later the arrow finds its way into the heart of the male black bear. Seconds later he is buy its side slitting it's throat. He dresses it expertly and salts the hide for his sister’s husband. He will love the pelt and head of the bear. Back at the rock he grills his steak and prepares black berry dumplings. Along with the cheese and bread the meal was very satisfying.

Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu was feeling a bit giddy after his meal decides to finish the trip wearing the bear head as a hat and the pelt as a cape. A loin cloth is the only real clothes he has on for the rest of the trip down the river.

The rapids end about a mile from the kayak rental. “This is going to be so funny.” Master Irekq bemuses to himself. He approaches the front the front door of the store and steals his face. Then with the speed and vigor of a leopard he bursts through the door roaring and snorting. The flabbergasted little counter girl who is all alone instantly starts to scream and cry at the spectacle unfolding in front of her. Irekq doing a kind of Where the Wild Things Are like dance around the room is a little crazy to watch. From the middle of the room Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu vaults his bear skin covered toned torso on top of the counter and roars deafeningly in her face. It is at this point that she faints, oops may be a little bit overboard. He picks up the poor child sets her in a chair and gets his truck keys from behind the counter.

Before he leaves the store he hangs the closed sign and put a tip in the girl’s hand locking the door behind him. Yes he felt bad for making the poor thing faint but it sure as hell was funny. Once he is back at his truck he loads up all his gear and heads home without any PP. (PETA Problems). Viva La BEEF!!

2010-05-21T11:34:00.000-07:00

Years ago before he ascended to the sublime degree of Vinja, Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu was just a simple man. Hard to believe but, true. His name was Vincent often called Vinny. Vincent was working diligently at his office when something guided him to a secured web-sight. Instantly Vincent realized he had found something evil. What he found was a plot of world domination. A plot so Machiavellian in it concept that is could only be conceived by that most duplicitous of villains known to the world as PETA.

Hounded by those cretins and fearing for the lives of his wife and family Vincent dedicated his life to the study the Way of Banner. To those who have no knowledge this it is simply put in to two mantras. First being " Please don't make me angry. You won't like me when I am angry." eluding to the way in which you must not let people disturb your sense of inner piece and changing to adapt yourself to the situation. The second " SMASH!! " well that is pretty self explanatory, you should " SMASH!! " all that stand in your way both physical danger as well as mental challenges.

A man of unequaled physical and mental faculties Vincent ascended to a highest level of consciousness know today as Vinja. Thus Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu was born. With him he brought this most malignant of the marshal art Vinjitzu. Krav Maga developed by Israeli defense force was long recognized as the standard in lethality. Bat Mitten in comparison the mortality that can be inflected when the principals of Vinjitzu are invoked.

Today Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu continues to battle the iniquitous fiends of PETA and their plot to subjugate the peoples of the world by stupefaction and devitalization of mankind. Join the good fight, Put and end to PETAs tyranny. Be come a Vinja. Viva La BEEF!

A Little Yard Work

2010-05-07T11:15:00.000-07:00

The date 127th day of Vinember, the place the habitation of the lionhearted champion of justice Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu, with sun shine and a temperature of 70 degrees, it’s a perfect day for yard work. Master Irekq loves to work in his utopian like garden. Taking the cue from the samurai,you must have balance between the warrior and the artist to have a complete soul. The vegetable garden and landscaping of his yard would rival those of the legendary gardens of Japan. And yes, Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu does eat vegetables; man cannot live on meat alone. Ever hear of rabbit sickness?

Tomatoes, peppers, onions, beans, and lettuce placed expertly around the nursery to optimize their growth. The pathways between rows of produce are made of marble pavers to keep from stepping on them. Plus they look pretty. Master Irekq on his knees tends to the needs of his plants by weeding and fixing a small hole in the gardens sprinkler system. It doesn’t take very long about an hour to clear out the half acre plot. Could he have done it faster? Of course, but he likes to take his time. Plucking a ripe tomato Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu bites into it moves on to the next task of cutting the grass, edging, and the removal of two dead trees.

As Master Irekq approaches the tool shed that houses the lawn equipment he senses the presence of a malefactor. Opening the shed doors and Matrix style back bend dodges the double headed ax catapulted at his chest. Straitening up to an upright position he leaps to the roof of the shed with a front flip eluding the chainsaw swung at his midsection. From the roof of the shed he eyes the trees he was just about to remove and idea flashes through his brilliant mind. Why not have this vegan vagabond cut the trees for him? It will be easy to conduct this symphony of evasion from the chainsaw wielding PETA puke making him do all the work.

One front summersault from the roof of the tool shed and Master Irekq is hanging midway up the first tree gripping it with one hand and standing on a branch. Making a “Nanny Nanny BOBO!” face and giving the finger to muttonhead with the chainsaw. He looks mad. The soon to be mulch menace runs right to where Master Irekq knew he would. Just as planed this guy starts to cut down the tree. Before he is halfway through Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu leaps to the second of the two trees he is removing from the yard. Hanging from a branch by his knees like a little kid would he puts his hands to his ears it and sticks his tongue out to taunt his attacker. And just like before he swallows the bait and tries to take tree number two down.

This guy is not too quick on the draw, because he has not realized that Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu had already gotten out of the tree with a picture perfect front hand spring and was now wielding the double handed ax that was on the ground by the first tree. With the skill of a lumber jack he expertly finished off the last bit of tree in seconds sending the considerable piece of timber crashing down. Master Irekq picks up a pebble and flicks it at the head of the chainsaw brandishing dolt. The pebble does its job and gets his attention. He turned around with just enough time to see Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu pointing up a saying “Your boss owes me a new chainsaw!” The falling tree collides with the second, sending them crashing down on the head of PETA pawn. The chainsaw with the aid of the two trees cleaved his body in twain as well as crushing him to death.

The only thing that was left for our hero to do was cut the tree into logs and throw the branches along with the piece of PETA crap in the wood chipper. He will be sending Ms. Newkirk the bill for the new chainsaw. VIVA LA BEEF and Tomato.

Vinember Fool's Day

2010-04-02T10:24:00.000-07:00

Spring is in the air, the sun is shining birds are singing and PETA is evil. Thursday the 90th Day of Vinember the ultimate Vinja is chauffeuring around the enfeebled padre of his consort. The work van of his in-laws Electrical Contracting business loaded with the days materials for the work to be done on the lavish homes of Avalon. Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu also passes the time as an electrician with Bob his father in-law. Bob is feeble and easily confused because of his age but he like to go out and “work”. Bobs work day usually goes like this, Master Irekq does all the work and he stands there yelling and confused as to where he is and what he is supposed to be doing. Irekq Master of the Deadly Art Vinjitzu likes to make him feel useful.

So the 90th of Vinember holds a special place in the heart of the Master, it was known as April Fool’s day. Master Irekq loves a good joke so he makes it a point to pull a prank on this day every year. This year as he is working with Bob he also has a prank in mind and a target for his fun. To whom you may ask will the day’s funny be played upon? That fascist despot Ingrid, Master Irekq toys with her on this day just because.

Bob and Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu pull up the obscenely opulent summer home of Ms. Newkirk, she has no idea that the electrician she has is yet one of her nemesis. Or that the reason for the service call in her home is a direct result of Master Irekq sneaking into the house the night before. Bobs walks up to the laughable guards of Casa Da Newkirk and says “Some call for an electrician?” The guard speaks into his wrist then touches his ear nods and lets them through the door.

Once inside Bob is greeted by Ingrid saying “You two are just in time I can’t seem to get my bed room light to work.” Bob replies that what we do, fix stuff like that. “,and chuckles. Ingrid looks Master Irekq up and down the way all woman stare at his strapping body. He smiles she has not be able to identify him for anyone she has sent to do so never returned or was to fearful of him to say anything. Tool bags in hand they are shown to the bedroom of the wench of the world. Bob starts his state of confusion and Irekq begin to play his prank. They are left alone for 35 minutes, plenty of time to set his trap. Faster the light itself he sprints to her kitchen replaces all of the human flesh she has stored in her refrigerator with lamb. Now he is back in the bedroom and “finds “ the problem he caused fixes it tells Bob it is done.

Bob calls for Ms. Newkirk and tells her he fixed the problem and hands her a bill. She pays the $150 bill in cash right then and there and the two are escorted out. Master Irekq drops Bob off at his nursing home and go back to his home to watch the video feed from the camera he placed in the kitchen at Ingrid’s house. He calls to Jess, she comes running thinking she is about to be pleasured. He tells her “Not now. Wait a minute I put the lamb in Ingrid’s fridge.”

“Can’t we have sex while watching it?”

“You know you won’t be able to pay attention.”

“I know, but Please!!!!!!!!!!”

“I will stand here naked. But not touching. OK?”

She reluctantly agrees. And they start to watch the video feed. When the monitor from the lap-top turns on you see Ingrid walking up to her fridge to get some cannibalistic provisions. Grabs a couple of chops and throws them on her stove. She is so stupid she does not even know the food was switched. The meat was merely browned when she pulls it off the grill and begins to stuff her face with the raw meat. The moment the lamb touches the forked tongue and her mouth closes she vomits all over the counter and floor. Laughing in to the microphone Ingrid hears” April Fools Bieatch. “Then the camera explodes into a cloud of dust. On must assume that she will kill all of the guards for this. Jess gives a fake laugh because she is only thinking of one thing and it sure as hell isn’t lamb but it is the old sausage. VIVA LA BEEF!

2010-02-15T09:18:00.000-08:00

When the Man Comes Around

9-5

2010-02-01T12:54:00.000-08:00

The 32 day of Vinember 2010 finds Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu starting his day is the usual way:

1 Completely satisfying his consort sexually

2 Feed his trusted companion (Maggie the Wonder dog)

3 Disarm bomb set by P.E.T.A. (Ok sometimes it is not a bomb just an ambush)

4 Eat breakfast

5 Then off to work.

This day finds our hero applying his cunning linguistic skills to the sale of Real Estate. His employment as a Real Estate Sales person is a nice distraction from the ongoing battle with P.E.T.A. Plus he likes to keep in touch with the common man. The office opens at 9:00 am and is 5 miles from his abode so there is no need to take his truck,” Just a short stretch of the legs .” he mused to himself as he set out on his way. Even though the office opens at 9 he is always there by 8 liking the peace quite of the building at that hour.

Most of the time there are no cars in the parking lot of the building of what Master Irekq calls his office job. This particular morning there are two work vans and a pick-up truck, not surprising seeing is how an office supply truck backed into the build the week before. Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu quickly examines the 8 man construction crew; odd that there would be a need for a crew of 8 men to patch a 4’ X 8’ section of aluminum siding. Master Irekq begins his process of elimination by numerically placing them in the order in which they will die.

First off a football like tackle to one the legs of the scaffolding, bringing the two men on it top crashing to the black top. One of the two men scream in pain as his femur bone bursts though his skin, he’ll bleed out quickly never to dance again. The second man tucks in and roles out of the way of the falling scaffolding and lands on his feet. Two grab piece of pipe from broken down scaffolding, sticking his foot under the pipe closest to his foot he flicks it into the air. He captures the pole in his hand and whirls it single handedly around his body the way a majorette does their flag. Leveling it off so as to point to the second man from the scaffolding so sees it in his face. He had not seen for very long however as Master Irekq skewered his skull with the metal tube.

The group circled him now. With a slight smirk it is time for number three. Dead man number two still on the end of his impromptu spear is flung at number three, who was now standing behind him and to the left. The limp carcass collides with its target. This sends him thundering into the wall behind him. The next thing number three saw was oblivion. Number two’s body had hammered into his chest crushing his rib cage and pinned both of them to the side of the building.

        A backhand spring and griping two smaller rodshe pierces numbers four and five abdomens. They drop like lead to their knees, and then fall to the side. It is a slow and painful death for these two. Number six will get off easy, he had decided to bum rush Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu, but instead of the delivering a sucker punch he was met a side step and ridge hand chop to the Adams apple crushing his wind pipe and snapping his neck at the same time. Pivoting to his right Master Irekq eyes seven and eight who are both brandishing pieces of broken down scaffolding and gyrating them like a couple of Shaolin monks. Ok then, this might be fun, he again flips another piece of pipe into his hand with his foot.

          He lets them make the first move. Numbers seven and eight spread out so that there was a good 15 to 20 feet between them. Then as expected they attacked at the same time form there two positions hoping that one of them would get a good shot at Master Irekq’s back. Please; as they charged him, Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu thrusts the length of pipe he was controlling in the asphalt and swings himself 90 degree of the pole and steps off sevens face to kick eight in his. Landing with the grace of a snow flake he waits for them to get back up. Master Irekq did not want this to be over to quickly so he held back on the last two kicks. This takes about 5 minutes.

          The two brigands awoke to Master Irekq standing in front of them less than 4 feet away smiling, Master Irekq had knocked them out. “Well,” he speaks out loud to himself “I guess I don’t know my own strength.” he said but knew it was not true. He had knocked them out on purpose to give him time to put the bodies of the friends into one of the vans. “You two little Sally’s ready to finish this?” They answered by leaping to their feet in some kind of back spin. “Kind of looked like a break dancing move.” he thought to himself. With that he choke up on the length of pipe in his hand, takes a step forward and swings the metal bar like a baseball bat connecting with sevens head send him to the hell that waits for him.

Eight makes a move only to be caught by his hand by Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu griping his wrist and putting him into an arm bar. “Arrrrghhh!” the P.ET.A. pawn screams in pain. Master Irekq now behind him whispers ever so softy and in a maniacal tone declares “I hope you are not left handed.” Then with a jerk shatters every bone in his arm. Pushing his new friend away Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu tells him to get on his way before someone sees him. “Take the van with your buddies in it. And get a doctor to look at that arm.” He tells him.

              Sad thing is Ms. Newkirk does not reward failure and he will be summarily executed. That is the one thing Master Irekq liked about Ingrid. There was only one punishment and that punishment is death. Now if he could only get that Damb house in Bridgeton sold! C'est la vie.

Twas the Night before Christmas

2009-12-28T07:47:00.001-08:00

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

Maggie was tucked in, all snug in her bed,
While visions of dead vegans danced in her head.
Jess in her teddy, Irekq in the buff,
Having just made love Jess had had enough.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Irekq jumped from the bed, he knew what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew like a flash,
There were some PETA fools he would have to SMASH!

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of mid-day to the mongrels below.
When, what to his knowing eyes should appear,
But 8 stupid vegans attacking the sleigh, wanting to "free" the reindeer.

Out the window, so lively and quick,
Irekq knew in a moment he must save St Nick.
More rapid than eagles his fists and feet came,
And calmly he stated, "You villains are lame."

Now Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen,
Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen!
Were not held against their will at all.
Irekq will BASH AWAY! BASH AWAY! All.

As dried blood leaves a trail that none can deny
When Irekq fights vegans of course they will die.
So down from the house-top their bodies they flew,
He must slain the attackers, and save St Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, Jess heard on the roof
The begging and pleading of each little goof.
As he drove a fist into one vegans face, and then turned around,
Irekq saw that St Nicholas was gagged and bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
His bundle of toys were flung from his back,
Irekq then knew he must get those toys back!

His eyes-how they twinkled! Irekq so merry!
For the dead scoundrels of PETA Maggie would bury!
This troll little vegan was drawn and quartered just for show,
His blood ran freely on the fresh fallen snow.

The stump an arm was used to knock out some teeth,
And one vegans entrails were used as a wreath.
His foot went through one vegans belly,
Irekq then laughed at pile bowels shaking like a bowel full of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
Irekq then smiled when he saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon Santa knew that he had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And spilled all the gray matter of one PETA jerk.
And crashing his fist into the side ones nose,
Then giving a boot to the nuts, into the sky he rose!

Santa was sprong from his bonds, to his team gave a whistle,
And away Santa flew like a cruse missile.
But Irekq heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and Damn what a fight!"

2009-12-04T17:08:00.000-08:00

The will be no more months. All time will be recorded as the number of day in the Vinember of that year.

Back Door Man

2009-11-28T10:21:00.001-08:00

Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu turns the corner and sees Maggie on the porch. Pulling up he thinks "PETA!"And gets out of my truck baton in hand and put the key in my lock and turn it slowly. Maggie at his heals I open the door as quietly as possible. Through the door and my leg the dog is in the house as soon as it is open far enough. All t...he way open He sees her sitting at the top of the stairs to the TV room tail wagging like it does when she catches a mouse. Damb dog must be part cat. Before he walks i "Baton right hand? Check. Knife left? Now the silent sprint upstairs, it is 12 shoeless step to the safe from the front door combination put in the safe and 6 45 long Colt safety slugs ( Frangible bullet / brass shell filled with bird shot, turns any slug into a shotgun upon impact, with a 4"-6" spread internally with a 3"- 4" penetration.) find their way into the wheel in less than 45 seconds Jessie Jr. ready. "OK!" Really loud in in head gets him to the first floor to see a man half way in the slider bleeding from his butt. He is unconscious the position of the grill and the cut on his head tells me what happened. He tried to break in Maggie chased him halfway out he hit he is head on the grill as Maggie bit him on the ass. " Nu-uhh?! He wishes he could have seen it. He chuckle a little as the baton slips into may back pocket. Stepping over stupid He looked for the crate he left on the sun porch in 07. Two years of laziness pays off. Right arm right leg, left leg and loop in the middle (for pulling) allows him to drag stupid out the back door outside and patio, blood stains concrete. He must have hit hard because this did not wake him. Now he has least 3 hours before Jess or anybody in the neighborhood get home. PETA picked the wrong home. A tap on the nose from Jessie Jr. has Bleeding Butt looking at him in the eye and saying "Your dog bit me I am going to sue!”. The widening of his eyes as he pulls the hammer back and saying "Cops? I do not plan to call the cops." tells him they are on same page. "What the fu-- are you going to do with that? Bi..." the baton hitting his kidney finishes the statement. "Why?" He asked. He pulls his head back in the manner of a question and another shot to the kidney has him saying "FU--! Stop! I AM GOING TO SUE... "whack in the kidney finished yet another sentence. "Why did you make me do this to you? "Must have sounded like a yell, even though it spoken softly inch from his ear. " Ple.." this time Jessie Jr. putting one in his leg stops him from speaking. Now Mister Bleeding butt is missing thigh muscle is crying. "Wh.." now my sentence is stopped short. "I lost my job. I needed to steal to feed my kids. ". "What are their names?" tilting his head as he squat down eye level with Mister Bleeding Leg & Butt resting his head on Jessie Jr. wheel on his cheek. "Stev.. Stephe.". BANG! This time his calve takes the hit. If you look closely you can see femur and shin bones. "AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" baton to the ribs stops the scream. "You do not have any kids." How do you feel?" "I... need.. a..doctor!". "Ok, to the doctor then. I will drive. Let me help you up."." Really?" No." . He cannot hold back the chuckle "Sorry, I am a dick. Why did you make me do this to you?". Drawing a smile on his face with Jessie Jr.'s barrel gets him to talking. "Your right. I have no kids. PETA sent me." .he says. "They.. know you have a copy of their manifesto.". "What is your name?" "Tod" "Do me a favor and then we will see about getting you help." "Sh..sure anything." he pants. "Tell Ingrid if she wants me to come and get me herself!”. Tod agrees and Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu cleans him and sterilizes his wounds and drops him off at the hospital. He is not worried about the police he will not call them PETA do not want what he knows getting out. VIVA LA BEEF!!

Convention

2009-11-28T10:21:00.000-08:00

Sunday the 182 day of Vinember Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu with Cultural Chairman in tow graced the Philadelphia Convention Center with his presence. He had aloud some of the greatest artists and writers of our time to put on a show for him and the Chairman.

Tom Savini ( I do not use this word lightly) Master of F/X make-up was given the privilege of meeting Master Irekq and his Cultural Chairman. He was honored the the Chairman took time to see him, but the fact that he was able to kiss the hand of Master Irekq was the culmination of his life's dreams.

As every great leader had an inspiration for his life's work so did Master Irekq. A writer who in Master Irekq's fact ( He does not have opinions his words are facts ) the greatest writer of all time. His works have served as a base guide line for Master Irekq's manifesto and have helped him to save the lives of many of the worlds profane. This man is Maxx Brooks.( Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z ) Maxx was so pleased to see Master Irekq that he begged to have a picture taken with him. The gracious man that he is Master Irekq granted this request and signed it for him. The Chairman was moved by the happiness that this had brought Maxx, both Maxx and the Chairman had tears of joy in their eyes.

There were many other talented authors and infiltrators and toy makers all clambering to have there works seen by Master Irekq and his Chairman that a deli counter type ticket machine had to be employed. Have no fear all were seen and few of the works were not up to the Chairman and by default Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu's standards. Those few were burned on sight never to disgrace the earth again, the creators of said works were beaten for the time that they had wasted in making suck trash.

Humbling Thunder

2009-11-28T09:35:00.000-08:00

As it is public knowledge that Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu is a wilderness survival expert, he still likes to humble himself by taking lessons from others. Thus the Trip to Mountain Shepherd Survival School, disguised ofcorce as to not intimidate the instructor a man named Reggie Bennett. Reggie was an instructor of the United States Military S.E.R.E. training and program given to all pilots as well as the different branches Special Forces (Rangers , Seals, Ect). That being said Mr. Bennett is well qualified to teach a course on the subject of survival to the average person and to give Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu a nice refresher.

All would have been fine, nice relaxing 4 days of sleeping under the stars cooking over a campfire and watching Reggie teach your run of the mill white collar how to tie knots and make fire. But, as the saying goes “No rest for the wicked” PETA will not allow a moments rest for our protagonist thus the relaxing 4 day jaunt turned into 4 days of terror for the others of the survival class and just another bunch of Veggie Protein eating miscreants the will not see another dawn for daring to muddle in the affairs of Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu.

The day started like you would imagine it would 5 strangers meeting their instructor and each other for the first time. Reggie introduced himself and asked how everyone was feeling; he did not want to take someone who is sick in to the wild and have their condition worsen making them a liability. After the group proclaiming that their health was good Bennett ask who has any medical training, normally Master Irekq would have the most knowledge of the subject but he was the as a profane and would differ to the instructor.

What happened next was not a surprise to Irekq but more like a “You have got to be kidding me!” moment for he now has to not only slaughter the herbivorous marauders of a PETA Death squad but he must also save the lives of the others in his group as well as the instructor. Well as you may have guessed once the group had arrived and their campsite so 100 miles from the nearest outhouse. The first shot was fired tearing almost in two the left shoulder of the 30 something school teacher who taking the course with her husband. As she screamed in agony the others hit the dirt.

The pain of a 7.62 mm (308 Remington) exploding threw ones shoulder is not to be taken lightly Irekq knows this pain having shot himself so that he would be able to show some compassion to who ever had the discourtesy of being shot in his presence. Reggie screams “STAY DOWN!! And someone put pressure on that wound.” Looking into Reggie’s eyes Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu speaks volumes about the situation. “You’re Him. Aren’t you? “is Reggie’s query. With a nod Master Irekq tells Mr. Bennett to wait for his signal then to make off the same direction of the first shot.

Understanding his purpose now Reggie will see to it that the others in the group are well hidden and safe for the carnage that is about to unfold. With the grace of a swan and an uncanny amount of speed and agility Master Irekq heads for the reprobate that just shot a woman in the back. Quickly he is spotted, the offender is 600 yards atop the adjacent ridge not a bad shot. The sniper was removed from his perch by the camping axe Master Irekq torpedoed into his shin. Taking his cue Reggie along with the others in the party help the injured woman by carrying her in the underbrush to better address her wound. The bullet went through the dainty frame of the woman and was bleeding profusely an application of Quick Clot and a pressure dressing has the team on the way to disappearing from sight. Normally Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu would want to keep them with him to keep them safe, but Reggie Bennett Mountain Shepherd would keep them hidden and tend to their fragile minds.

Once he was upon the despicable disgrace of a human Master Irekq asked “How many?” applying pressure to the head of the axe sticking out of his shin. “Arrrrghhh!” was the only reply. Again the question “How many?” is put forth this time it is punctuated with the camping axe being ripped from the blackguards one shin and plunged into his other. The number 6 is what is heard. “Is that including you?” Master Irekq queries. “. “Yes!” whimpers this sad creature. Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu nods and says “5” as the camping axe relieves the neck of the burden of his head.

Like all normal healthy people Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu has an interest in firearms so looking over this would be assassin’s weapon and knowing it to be Mauser 86 SR sniper rifle made in Germany he has an idea. After all it is hunting season. Over the course of the next 3 days Master Irekq toys with the others sent to kill him putting a bullet into their empty, thoughtless Vegan brains. Who does not like a little target practice?

Finding Reggie and the others held up in a very discretely hidden shelter some 7 miles from where it all began Master Irekq informs the group that it is all going to be ok the villain who shot the woman will no longer burden the Earth with his useless existence. No questions were asked as Master Irekq’s demeanor answered any they might have had. They knew he had done what needed to be done. Reggie of course wanted to refund the groups money but they all seemed to think that someone getting shot not withstanding this was a once in a life experience and was worth the price. As a whole the 5 men and one woman in took a vow of silence on the subject never to speak of it again.

Well there you go Ingrid you did so something good after all. Maybe there is so hope for you yet? VIVA LA BEEF!!!

Humble Thunder

2009-11-24T17:32:00.000-08:00

The course I took in Virginia was a blast. The instructor (Reggie Bennett) really knew his stuff. I learned a lot and confirmed what it is that I thought I knew. Reggie was an instructor of S.E.R.E. (Survival Evasion Resistance Escape) training which is what every pilot and the different (Rangers & Seals, ect.) Special Forces go through. He had told us from the start that four days does not an expert make, admitting that he is still learing something new everyday.

He said the four days he had with us he would give us the basic tools in a kind of crash course but there is a lot to know so you should never go out with out being prepared. He instructed us in the Seven Priorities of Survival which are positive mental attitude, first aid, shelter, fire craft, signaling, water, and food. The knot tying was funny there were at least three of the knots that he taught us I had been doing for a long time but I did knot know that they had real names.

I did sleep in a shelter and bed that I had made from leaves and yes it was cold. I was instructed on snaring animals from a squirrel to a deer, how to find the proper place to set the traps and what to set them with. He went over what you should never go hiking and or camping with out just in case. I had a ball.

Disaster Knives??

2009-11-16T09:07:00.000-08:00

I was reading Blade (not the half vampire) magazine, it is a magazine about knives and knife makers. Hey, I know what you thinking “Are you kidding me? A knife magazine? “. You are most likely not surprised that I was reading such a magazine but, the fact that there is one. Anyway there was an article on “Disaster Knives” suggested that not only that you have a “Disaster Knife” but that you should also have an assortment of cutlery, different knives for different needs. Now what they are calling a disaster knife is nothing more a chisel tipped dive knife. The article also states that the rescue community has also embraced this type of knife for the reason that it is quite a useful tool, I will explain.
The knife is full tang (one sold piece of metal) in it construction with a serrated back edge and as I said has a chisel tip about an inch in width. The bottom of the handle has a striking point on its pommel, allowing you to hit it with something without destroying the handle. What is it good for? You may ask. You can split small timber for firewood and because of most of them are made out of tool steal they can be used as a pry bar. On the one that I have is about 5 ½ inches so it is a descent size blade but by no means a Bowie.
The reason I bring that up fact that it is a dive knife is that “Disaster Knives” seem to cost a little more. Funny how if the word disaster is put on something’s title and the cost goes up. Example , if you were to look up a first aid kit for your home it would cost one thing but if you were to find a “Disaster First Aid Kit” with the same things in it more than likely it will cost more. I will be bringing said Disaster Knife with me on my trip to Virginia to give it a try.

Rules of Engagement

2009-11-14T07:25:00.001-08:00

1. SELF DEFENSE HAS NO RULES - In a life or death situation rules go right out the window. You need to use everything at your disposal to stop your attacker. Eye gouging, biting, throat strikes, & groin attacks are all the standard fight techniques of Vinjitzu . That is what it takes to win!

2. Don’t Put yourself in Bad situations – Avoiding conflict is just common sense, but all too often people seem to forget this most basic of rules.. Remember you do not have the skills of Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu so to truly defend yourself means to avoid the conflict in the first place.

3. Confidence -The study of Vinjitzu will aid you with this. Believe it or not an attacker can smell your fear from a mile away, criminals are experts at picking the right victim. Criminals tend to go after people who they feel are weak and or vulnerable to attack.

4. Stay Aware – Vinjas are experts at body language. How an aggressor is standing, looking or motioning can give you clues as to what he is about to do.

5. Control the situation – Don’t react, ACT. The person who can control the situation is usually the person that will come out on top.

6. Hurt them first – If a fight is unavoidable, hurt them first and hurt them bad. Your goal is to destroy your attacker physically and defeat anyone who may be thinking about joining the fight.

7. Get Away - As soon as you can, get away….. Far away!
Don’t let your ego get you killed; remember if you’re dead you didn’t win the fight.

O.O.D.A.

2009-11-07T10:08:00.000-08:00

Fighter pilots have a concept known as an OODA loop that helped the US develop the top Air Force in the world. Basically, they figured out that pilot in a dogfight all went through the same mental process:

Observe

Orient

Decide

Act

Furthermore, they found out that in a dogfight the pilot who went through the 4 steps the fastest won the majority of engagements. How’s this applied to surviving a disaster in an urban environment? Well, the faster you can go through the process of observing, orienting, deciding, and acting in a survival situation, the more likely you will be to survive. "Chance favors the prepared mind".

Defination of Zombie

2009-11-07T08:06:00.001-08:00

You see, "zombie" is code for the masses of unprepared people who wander about in a daze after natural and manmade disasters. They loot, steal, and do whatever they have to survive. They aren't necessarily infections, undead, or wrapped in burial clothes, but some are. And will be just as dangerous. It's just that when people get hungry, thirsty, tired and desperate, their ability to think rationally disappears, just like the real zombies. History shows us that this will manifest itself in the form of violence against people who have food, water, or other needed supplies. And don't think you'll be able to call the police or EMS in a disaster situation. You're on your own. Why? Because it is all part of PETA's plan and law enforcement and first responders are going to be swamped. Most cities have between 1 non-administrative officer per 1000 people and 1 officer per 10,000 people on duty at one time plus some of them will be bitten and lessen their numbers. That works when people WANT to follow the law, and you only have 1 out of 10,000 people breaking the law at a given time, but disaster situations open the door for people who are on the fence about whether or not to follow the law. In addition, if you do have a violent encounter during or after a disaster situation, you probably won't get medical help and most likely become a real zombie. Again, first responders are stretched thin during good times...with about the same ratio; fire/rescue will be real busy. You see, "zombie" is code for the masses of unprepared people who wander about in a daze after natural and manmade disasters and flesh eating garbage disposals. They loot, steal, and eat your brains to survive. It's just that when people get hungry, thirsty, tired and desperate, their ability to think rationally disappears. History shows us that this will manifest itself in the form of violence against people who have food, water, or other needed supplies.

Security strategies that you can put into place today to help keep you from being a target of thieves, looters, and mindless soulless undead in a disaster situation, but I want to share a few of them with you today. One of the best ways to help law enforcement and first responders in a disaster situation is to do everything possible to make sure they don't have to spend their time taking care of you. The simple list way to do this is to make sure that you and your house aren't as good of a target as your neighbors' houses. Pure and simple, hiding your preparations will go a long way towards protecting you from attack.

1. Look at your garage with the eyes of a thief, looter and carnivorous decease after a disaster. If your survival/camping/food supplies are visible, move or camouflage them.

2. Be careful about where you talk about your disaster preparations, who you talk to about them, and what you disclose. Always try to disclose LESS of your preparations than what you have really done.

3. Make sure your supplies are not centralized/visible in your house. There's no reason for repair men, babysitters, friends, kids' friends, or anyone else to know how much "stuff" you've got. Again, hide your supplies or store them in multiple locations.

4. Follow basic home security guidelines, like getting a dog, motion

Parental Block

2009-11-02T11:28:00.001-08:00

As is my charge to protect and serve humanity from heathens and scoundrels the world over, I have uncovered another design of subjugation. This time it is an attack on our youth more precisely teenage girls. The name of this intrigue is "Twilight ".

This " Twilight " is nothing more than an another attempt to physically weaken the body of the youth. Girls first and subsequently the young males. The plan is that of convincing them that a "Vegetarian " can be cool and have super powers. " Vegetarians "are the only people capable of romance. Thus part of the plan that affects young males.

What would a young male not do to be with a girl? So, no meat no fish there you go weak and stupid teenagers. This time PETA is just being brazen in their pursuit of world domination. Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of the Vinjitzu will abolish this scheme. I will not allow them to rule. This I promise. VIVA LA BEEF!!!!!!!!

The 285 th Day of Vinember

2009-10-12T09:10:00.000-07:00

The alarm went off (Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu never needs an alarm to wake up. His senses are so acute that he just knows. This alarm is for this consort.) And Jess gracefully tapped the snooze button. She is so cute when she does that. Anyway, the time was 6:30 am and Jess had to shower and get ready for work. Her job at the hospital is a cover, not that he needs it but she aids Master Irekq in his endeavor to obliterate the malignant parasites of PETA. You see if the citizens of the mindless machine knew of the struggle between Master Irekq and the obscene and corrupt libertines bent on oppression of free will and world conquest, there would be mass hysteria and panic. The throngs of doltish sheep happy to settle down on their couches in snuggies and have their minds slowly sapped of all that is decent and conscientious by So You Think You can Dance, cannot handle the truth that the piece loving hinny biters of PETA are vile and impudent wretches. I digress.

6:39 am 285 th day of Vinember my consort is placing her dainty fingers on the snooze button for a second time. When the alarm goes off the third time she gets up turns it off and walks to the shower. Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu almost omniscient in his conscious and unconscious state senses something amiss. Maggie the ferocious companion of Master Irekq acknowledges the irritation and is excited. That dog loves lacerate the backsides of veggie-protein eating simpletons who dare to encroach upon her masters domain.

Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu takes pleasure in watching carnivorous canine "Play". Springing out of his bed walking downstairs his consort sees his Herculean form and begs him to take to her bed. "I have to let the dog out. I will be right there." She can never control her appetite for him. Maggie is waiting not so patiently at the front door. With the door ajar she rockets off the porch to the undercarriage of the Consorts Jeep. A quick faint scream of terror and then silence. "Take it out back, and stay." Master Irekq tells the dog. Maggie does as her master commands as he closes the door. In the bed room door Jess asks "What was that noise?" she really did not care consumed by the hunger the all women feel when they behold the majesty that is Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu in the buff.

"It is 11:00, you are late." Master Irekq tells his consort "I am a little worn out but I can go in if you think I should.”." No, get some rest dearest. I have to go outside and see what they tried to do to the Jeep this time." Maggie has the emaciated vegan criminal half eaten. We let her eat them for they are not human. To be human you must have some semblance of honor, a bomb to the consort’s car is by no means Honorable. "I will have to get her shots now. Who knows what that mentally defective cretin has." he thinks.
Yet another piece of compost for the back yard. Ingrid.. Ingrid.. Ingrid will you never learn. VIVA LA BEEF!!!!

Write it Down

2009-09-14T09:27:00.000-07:00

Cheap...Survival is NOT a luxury reserved for the rich. A good plan should be
effortless in is deployment with a little training, Studying, supplies and...

* Compatible with Your Current Living Situation.
* Easily Usable By Your Family If You Can't Lead Them.
* Adaptable In Case You Miss Your Window to Relocate
* Sustainable If the Emergency Is Long Term
* Reversible If You Jump the Gun.
* Written Down, So You Aren’t Relying on Memory When You’re Operating under Stress and Without Sleep.

Does this sound right to you? How is your current survival plan stacking up? Plus, your survival plan should work in real life situations, including:

* You're 1,000 miles away on a business trip when "it" happens.
* Your kids are on a school trip when it's time to bug out.
* Traveling by car is not an option.
* One of your family is injured and can't travel.
* You have a baby or have to take care of an elderly parent when "it" happens.
* The emergency build-up is gradual and there's no clear signal. (Like a rash people attacking and biting)

This is one of the ugly realities of our situation today...Most families won't leave urban areas in time because they can't afford leaving early and being wrong. That is why you should listen to me now because when "it" happens I will not be around. Do not confuse "survival" with "primitive living", which are two completely different skill sets. I pity the fool who decides to grind wheat and bake bread 21 days into an urban survival situation. That smell will draw the "zombies" in from blocks away and hunger will be the least of his problems!

Lions, Tigers, and Bears. No Problem

2009-09-09T15:38:00.000-07:00

Windigo

Native to the northern regions of the US and of Canada (the Algonqian tribes - Ojiway, Cree) Windigo is the result of starvation. The creature often appears emaciated and scarred by frostbite. Some legends claim the creature is a human driven to the state by hunger and perhaps isolation. These humans can shape-shift into the Windigo shape. Others see him as an actual demon and instead of looking starved, he's huge and hairy with enormous feet. Either way, he has a horrible stench that turns stomachs.

He will eat anything, including human flesh. In fact, that is what he craves, once he has partaken of it. He is dangerous with great strength.

How do you kill a Windigo? Well, here the story sometimes becomes mixed up with werewolf legends and silver bullets. But, in fact, the only way to destroy a Windigo is to burn him. You see, once he becomes a Windigo, whether by shape shifting or because he is a demon, his heart turns to a chunk of ice, and this must be melted to destroy the beast.

Werewolf

The legend of the werewolf is one of the most ancient and wide spread. Stories of werewolves can be found as far back as history has been written. These shape-shifter myths can be found all over the word from China to Iceland and Brazil to Haiti.

The name Werewolf most likely derives from Old English wer (or were) and wulf. The first part, wer, translates as "man" (in the sense of male human, not the race of humanity). It has cognates in several Germanic languages including Gothic wair, Old High German wer and Old Norse var, as well as in other Indo-European languages, such as Latin vir, Lithuanian vyras and Welsh gwr, which have the same meaning.

The second half, wulf, is the ancestor of modern English "wolf"; in some cases it also had the general meaning "beast". An alternative etymology derives the first part from Old English weri (to wear); the full form in this case would be glossed as wearer of wolf skin.

In some cases, the werewolf is portrayed as being invincible and nearly indestructible, with decapitation of its head and removal of its heart as the only surefire way to kill one. In other superstition the weapon of choice is the silver bullet, and other weapons made of silver.

Vampires

From very early times there have been reports and tales of vAn undead that rises from the grave during the night to drink the blood of the living in order to stay "alive". Generally the word "undead" refers to a creature that should be dead but is still active within the realm of the living.

There are some variations, where the vampire is traditionally killed with a wooden stake through the heart, some say you have to stake a vampire with a stake of silver or stake him through the heart in addition to other methods. Vampires don't like fire. One way to kill a vampire would be to light them on fire and burn them completely to ashes. They must be burned to ashes or else they will heal themselves and you will be their next victim.

Zombie

Shoot them in the head.

These are the majarity of what you will run into. I can kill any thing, ask me and I will tell you.

Drive By

2009-09-09T15:11:00.000-07:00

I turned forward, and a few seconds later, I turned back again. Now he's standing behind a big bush, partially concealed, watching us.

I mention the fact to Adam, and he turns and looks, and is immediately on edge. "Why would they be looking at us?!"

"I know... let's just keep walking." I said. PETA has resorted to street thugs.

Well, we walked for another 1/4 mile north, turned west, walked for a block, and were walking south again. I had just began to think it was nothing, when here comes a white Olds toward us. They must had driven south, turned west, and turned north.

We kept walking, but I made eye contact again as they drove by. I was walking as confidently as I could- hoping to project the idea that they should just keep driving. I'm 5'10" and 170lbs of Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu I was hoping that was enough...

They drove past, and all four of them stared hard at us. Gulp.

"Adam, did you see those guys staring?" I asked, sounding confident.

"YES! What is the deal?!" He said. He wasn't scared, but bewildered.

After two or three seconds, I turned, a regretful sigh and here we go again crossed my mind.

The Olds was stopped right in the middle of their lane, about 50 yards behind us, and the passenger was leaning out his window STARING at us. I mean... his whole upper half was leaning out of that car window. I made sure he wasn't holding a gun or anything (not that it matters), and turned to Adam:

"Dude, they are stopped, check it out."

Adam turned, and quickly turned back again, saying "You must be bad luck! I've NEVER had anything like that happen here, and I jog on this trail all the time! Let's hurry and get the heck home!"

We kept walking, and I turned back 5 seconds later, same thing. 5 more seconds later, and the car had drive another 50 yards to a stop sign, and was stopped with its right blinker on- except the passenger was still staring back at us.

The second the car broke the corner and disappeared, we broke into a jog, crossed the street, and took a different path home.

WHEW....I am a body language expert. These guys obviously didn't want to be noticed- nobody with bad intentions ever does. So Adam never has an issue, because no bad-guys (wolves) deem him to be a threat- they can tell that he's harmless (a sheep).

But you set off their own radars, because you noticed them. This is why armed citizens almost encourage attacks in some ways- because the bad guys pick up on their defiant waves, and they almost see it as a challenge." The cell phone trick. If someone is sneaking up behind you, you don't want to turn around and confront them, because then they'll be pushed to act. The same thing applies here! You can look at them to see what they are doing, but you have to look at them in a way that won't trip their radar.

So I pull my phone out of my pocket pretending to make a call (an attack is less likely you if you are on a phone talking to someone.) The car sped up and kept going and no blood was shed

Who's coming with me?

2009-08-22T06:59:00.000-07:00

Copy and Paste the application form then email it to me, if want to be considered to have the honor of joining my legion.

1. What is your favorite snack?

A. Um, I'm on a diet

B. (nibbling on arm) Just whatever is laying around.

C. Chocolate anything yum.

D. Peanut butter gummy worms

E. Chips or something. Why do you care?

F. Cookies

G. Tuna fish

2. When do you feel your best?

A. In the morning

B. During the afternoon & early evening

C. Late at night

3. When talking to people you...

A. stand with your arms folded.

B. have your hands clasped

C. have one or both hands on your hips

D. touch or push the person to whom you are talking to

E. play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair.

4. When relaxing, you sit with...

A. your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side

B. your legs crossed

C. your legs stretched out or straight

D. one leg curled under you

5. Your friend catches you talking to yourself. What do you say to them?

A. You ignore her and continue talking to yourself.

B. You say you were talking to your invisible friend.

C. Meow...wanna play?

D. Hum.... Shh...I'm trying some new yoga fondue techniques.

E. Go away! I'm busy!

F. You invite her to join into the conversation.

G. You blush, horribly embarrassed and say your friend just left a minute ago.

6. What were you saying to yourself?

A. I will kill it....chop it into little pieces...that vile thing!

B. Just stressing about life.

C. And then the monkeys landed on the roof and Elmira was scared and then she wobbled and...

D. Vanessa, I just don't know what to do anymore...I wish there was someone...I could talk to....

E. Re-telling a funny thing that happened to you and someone else and laughing about it.

F. I jumped from the tree when I saw it...

7. When something really amuses you, you react with...

A. big appreciated laugh

B. a laugh but not a loud one

C. a quiet chuckle

D. a sheepish smile

7. When you go to a party or social gathering...

A. make a loud entrance so everybody notices you

B. make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know

C. make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

8. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted...

A. welcome the break

B. feel extremely irritated

C. vary between these two extremes

9. Which of the following colors do you like the most?

A. red or orange

B. black

C. yellow or light blue

D. green

E. dark blue or purple

F. white, brown, or gray

10. Do you like the Numa Numa song?

A. YES! THAT'S MY FAVORITE SONG!!!!

B. Whats that?

11. Who is your hero?

A. Jack the riper! or Attil the Hun

B. Pewe Herman or Petter Grifin from 'Family Guy'

C. Superman or Spiderman

12. You often dream that you are...

A. falling

B. fighting or struggling

C. searching for something or somebody

D. flying or floating

E. you usually have dreamless sleep

F. your dreams are always pleasant

You Should Pick Your Friends

2009-08-17T05:57:00.000-07:00

A good number of people to start with is six counting yourself. You should have a diverse enough group to have different points of view , but not so different that you can't come to an agreement. Keep in mind not every decision will be made by the collective. Face it, you will not have time to deliberate on every little thing so one person needs to be put in a position that allows them to make the quick decisons needed to keep the assemblage safe.

Whether you are in your compound or on the move, your congregation should be chosen wisely. If you do not already know who your company is you should start looking now. I have told you the skill sets you are going to need in a previous post ("A Few Things You Need to Know"), but did not mention that you really need to screen them. I am not saying that you should have a questionnaire or application to weed out evolutions mistakes, but it's not a bad idea. Your battery should be balanced and complement each other. At first I had no intention of making a questionnaire but the more I think about it I believe I am going to write one now.

Sweet November

2009-08-15T07:39:00.001-07:00

4-days, 3-nights, Co-ed, 18+. Specifically designed for those seeking a longer and challenging training experience. Tents will not be used; students will overnight in improvised shelters. Students may bring plenty of food, utilizing camp fires for dinner and breakfast. Students will extreme hike to their camps, as a group and in two-person teams, using learned map & compass skills. Instruction will include our seven priorities of survival: positive mental attitude, wilderness first aid, shelter, fire craft, signaling, water, and food. Proper knots and lashings will be taught and students will also become very proficient in using a topographic map and compass and, of course, making fire. A complete equipment list will be sent upon registration. This course is a "modern" survival course in that we encourage proper equipment, preparedness, and the capability of rescue within 72-hours.

This November I am going to go for some fun. It was a Christmas gift. I think I know a lot of this stuff, in theory. In practicality no. I will let you know what I think of the school. They mail you a complete list of equipment you will need to bring. I can wait to see what I need to buy.

My Old Home Virginia

2009-08-03T08:39:00.000-07:00

Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu traveled to Virginia with his Consort and her brother Minister of Procreation this was not a pleasure trip, it was a crusade against one of PETA'S many base conspiracies. The begetter of Master Irekq's consort, advanced in years as they are should not be left alone so they had to be brought along. They are in no danger while under the umbrella of Irekq of Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu.

The vocation of this excursion was to prevent that villain most vile Ingrid from setting up a human mill (See PUPPY MILL) for food. This may come as a SHOCK to most people but all of PETA's upper crust are not as you may think vegan. They are in fact cannibals. The whole reason for their blitzkrieg against meat eating people is not for the welfare of the animal kingdom, truth be told it make human flesh taste bitter and harder to chew.

Anyway back to the peregrination into the mountains of Virginia to forestall the creation of the human mill. Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu alone would have no problem dismantling the project and have it done in expeditiously. Not wanting his consort and her brother the Minister of Procreation to feel unneeded he allows them to come along to keep an eye on their aged progenitors. Besides at their age they need to get out.

The PETA encampment was 10 miles of mountainous terrain from the cabin Master Irekq and his accumulation were staying. The ramble would only take Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu 45 minutes, his 3 minute mile pace would be a little slower for two reasons the topography and he wanted to enjoy the scenery.

Upon his arrival of the bivouac belonging to PETA he quickly and savagely put down the cannibals guarding it. Blowing the place to hell with the proper mixture of house hold chemicals is the next course of action. Besides who does not like a camp fire? Timer set and 5 miles away up cliff side Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu roasts a marshmallow as the mill is burned from the hill side. Maybe next time Ingrid

A Good Stretch of the Legs

2009-07-27T08:46:00.000-07:00

As most of you know Irekq Master of the Deadly art of Vinjitzu is not only the deadliest human being on the in existence he is also a paradigm of wilderness survival. Sunday the 173 day of Vinember he was treating himself to a very short constitutional of 6 miles in the Pine Barrens with his consort and her parents, just for fun. It was at mile 3 when he had stop his winged pace to await his company (“Really.” he thought to himself” You must not be angry with them you are the zenith of human prowess. Of course they cannot keep up.") Relaxing on a nearby stump he put Jerry Reed on his IPod and began to listen. He leaned back on the tree closest to him closing his eyes.

As if he were pulled from his seated position into a battle ready stance like a child playing with an action figure. Opening his eyes to view the cross bow bolt griped in his left hand PETA again, will those fools never learn that their entire army is no match for him? Reluctantly he throws the bolt back in the direction that it came from putting it in the arm of his aslant in the tree. Ending a life does not bring Master Irekq pleasure, however aiding in evolution by dispatching this brigand does. This will be over before his consort and her parents catch up. 1 to 2 minutes tops to bring to a conclusion.

The best way to describe the following event is to first ask if you have seen Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. Master Irekq bounds up the tree where his target, the veggie protein eating guerrilla rips the bolt from her arm and fires yet another bolt. Quick little Mary, this PETA mercenary is. Quick but not quick enough, Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu gracefully steps on the bolt like it was a stair on his way to his prospective murder. Face to face with the spurious aggressor "Shit you are fast!" is spoken to him. “YUP!" is the reply. Snapping the very tree limb they are on with his feet and like a hacky sack pitching into his grasp, Irekq Master of the Deadly Art of Vinjitzu then compresses it into the gullet of his foe. Gracefully descending the tree, limp corpse on his shoulder he finds brush in which he will hide the body from the aged forerunners. His consort is aware of the onslaught against PETA; her parents do not, they are old so why scare them.

Corpse obscured by thicket he rests back on the stump and continues to listen to Jerry Reed. His group catches up unaware of the events that just unfolded. Try again Ingrid! VIVA LA BEEF!!!!!!!

Cutting Edge Journalism.

2009-07-20T09:37:00.000-07:00

For hiking as well as the impending onslaught of undead you will need a good pocket knife. The Kershaw 1550st is a good start and happens to be the one I own. Closed it is is 4 1/2 inches long and weights 3.5 ounces. The blade is half serrated at 3 1/4 inches of 13c26 steel. The handle made of polyimide the knife as a whole is pretty well balanced and durable. Assisted opening and thumb screw make operation fast. Liner lock for single handed operation, and the thumb screw is able to be moved for both left and right handed opening. The belt clip is bent out the bottom making it easy to slide into your pocket. I have used the knife pretty hard and it holds its edge nice.

So Far So Good Continued

2009-07-18T06:27:00.000-07:00

Well after using the pack for 3 days in a row I now have an opinion on its performance. I like it. The pocket for the hydration pack was great. I filled the 2 liter bag half with ice then in the morning the remainder of the space was filled with water, because the pocket is insulated on both sides the water was cold all day. I had about 5-6 pounds in the pack, it rested on the small on my back which was OK. I have on issue with the pack the cross strap seems a little high and I am going to lower it. Other wise great for a days hiking.

So Far So Good

2009-07-10T14:44:00.000-07:00

Now I do not really think that "THE ZOMBIE ARE COMING!!!". No, really they are so be prepared. Anyway if you are in the market for a hydration/backpack for light hiking I have recently procured a Cloud Walker Camelback brand pack that I think will be to my liking. Shall I tell you more? Ok stop begging... I will.

There are three divisions to the pack. The first is an isolated compartment for water that comes with a 2 liter bag. That feature made me very happy simply because you do not have to disturb the rest of you pack to refill the water. The large compartment is just an open pit. The third demarcation has a small Velcro pouch and 3 pen or pencil type holders. A fragment of this part is open and about 3" deep and wide. The larger part is a deep pocket and is wide open.

Two mesh bottle-type open side subdivisions on the outside, 2 side compression straps and a set of 2 loops on the outside back make it like most packs. The shoulder straps are very padded and thick. They are a mesh and seam to keep you pretty cool. The cross the chest strap is half elastic, nice for now. It is really comfortable but what happens to elastic after a lot of use. Hmm? The whole pack is 1340 cubic inches or 22 liters which is a little under 6 pounds.

I love the separations and all the little pockets, I will let you know how is feels after this weeks hike.

When you gotta go you gotta go

2009-07-03T13:22:00.001-07:00

I in this section will go a little more in depth and detail as to what I have in my B.O.P. (Bug Out Pack). You may need to do things a little different. I will start with the most important part the backpack. Osprey Atmos 65. 4,000 cubic inches of volume (65 liter) the pack is good to carry 40 lbs, or 5 days. The Atmos pack is my pack of choice for two reasons; completely vented back and padded shoulder straps. It breaths well, I sweat like an animal.

A rain cover for the pack in a must have, keeps everything dry. Of course the hydration pack is 2 liters. Osprey.com if you want to look for yourself. Key part of your pack is placement of the equipment. You know you need a knife, I have two 10" fixed blade Buck strapped to the left shoulder strap upside down, second is a 4" Kershaw folder half serrated I keep in my pocket. My 36" axe in the stow and go straps on the side of the pack right side. Shovel strapped to the outside of the pack I have a Backcountry 3 trenching shovel, take a look you will like it. In one of the two hip side pouches I have my range finder and compass.

Sigsaur Mosquito 22 long left thigh butt out to be easily grabbed by both left and right hand. The Mossberg 500 Tactical in stainless is on a combat sling in front (weather proof, easy cleaning). Flash light waterproof crank powered, in the other side hip pouch along with flint striker and windproof lighter. Rope is in the pack as well as a camping hammock. Sleeping bag is where it goes on the bottom of the pack. Water filter pump, poncho, dried foods, extra socks, and I may have forgotten I also have a spool of 50 lb test fish line. When you do decide to sleep, up a tree in the camping hammock tied between two trees, 15’ or more in the air.

Keep things Straight

2009-07-03T13:06:00.001-07:00

I most likely should have started with this. Biters will not be the only thing you have to worry about. As a matter of fact they will be the least of your worries. The living will is a bigger problem than the undead.

Man (and Woman) is a smart, caring, and understanding creature. People, however suck. Mass hysteria will cause a good person to kill you for a loaf of bread. Look at what happens here in NJ when the news even mentions the word snow. The supermarkets are crazy. Not to mention the villains of the world will have an edge, they already do not care about anyone but themselves.

You must be prepared to do what is necessary to protect yourself and those in your charge. The great strategist Sun Tzu said "The art of war teaches us to rely not on the likelihood of the enemy's not coming, but on our own readiness to receive him; not on the chance of his not attacking, but rather on the fact that we have made our position unassailable." Basically The Boy Scout motto "Be prepared". You know if snow makes people push you out of the way for milk, the rise of all who have expired lurking aimlessly with the sole purpose of devouring you, may cause a little stir.

These lifeless cannibals are easily dispatched, if you have a plan. Remember "Be Prepared!" I will assume you have at least the 20 basics. There is a strategy when it comes the soulless eating machines that is quite simple. Going outside is never to be done alone. Pairs, you always leave the house in pairs. Now keep in mind you have the right learn to use and carry any Malay weapon you like to defend yourself. You also have the right to do it with a little with style. I have a 48 inch broad sword and a 36 inch Eastwing axe; I like them both so I switch it up. When fighting the undead you must keep a minimum distance of 3 feet. It is always best to use your the Malay weapon first. No reloading and quiet. From stated safe distance, simply employ the old "Hey what's over there?" trick. By having your partner lead its gaze away from you so you can decimate the beast’s skull with your weapon with ease.

The silenced .22 caliber pistol should only be used in the case of multiple targets. If and when you are engaged by multiple undead pests, your first course of action is to run like hell! That being said you will at some point have to combat the hordes of man eating behemoths. Maintain a controlled and steady aiming process. It is important to practice a rapid target to target sequence. Two to the head at first, after your skill has improved you may use the one shot one kill method. The untamed masses, panicked public, and the miscreants that want your milk! They are your real nemesis. They will kill you, your family, friends, dog, and burned your house down. That is why you go out carrying the axe, .22, and 12 gauges. The .22 is for the walking dead but it will hurt a normal human most of the time making them cry like a little Nancy!

With the corpses walking around things are not normal. So people may have a little adrenaline pumping through their veins and a bit more aggressive thus the 12 gauge. One shot one kill this time in the chest. Even a man in a flak jacket will be knocked on his ass by buck shot to the chest. The man or woman in the flak jacket will think twice while they are on the back on the ground with you over them with the barrel of your gun in their face. The next step is up to you. You have to LIVE with this decision.

Need a light?

2009-07-03T13:04:00.000-07:00

You will need a generator, their size and fuel vary. The size of your compound will determine the Kw rating of said generator. I will cover the most common fuels. First off gas has a shelf life of a few days to several months, problem being you have to have a lot of it in storage and the other fuel types are more efficient. Use regular unleaded gas with at least 85 octane for your gas powered generator. Turn off the generator engine and allow it to cool about 2 minutes before refueling.
Hydrogen Gas has many marvelous qualities, although it is not above thermodynamics, more energy is used in the process of production than produced. This is true of all systems but it is the most efficient. This HHO gas is 3 xs as powerful regular gasoline and its byproduct is pure water.
Propane two main advantages: The fuel is cleaner and when used in generators, will not produce as much toxic fumes that are harmful to the environment. The other is that has just about an indefinite life shelf life. Propane is virtually odorless except for the added rotten-egg smell used to determine leaks and is also nontoxic.
Diesel has to be over hauled every 15,000 hours. Propane or gasoline generators will need to be overhauled in as little as 1,000.Generally for at least 12 months. Diesel engines are built to last many times longer than a gasoline powered engine. Diesels are far more efficient, as well.
Bio-Diesel has many advantages to Petro-Diesel. The main one being cleaner burning fuel that is more environmentally friendly. The next being the use of organic by products as part of the fuel. Another favorable advantage is bio-diesel's high lubricity and solvent attributes that reduce wear and tear. With lower cold weather gelling points, it could be troublesome in very cold weather. Like petro diesel, it is also accompanied by fumes and possibly a unique, pungent odor as well. One of the main drawbacks of bio-diesel is its production of nitrous oxide. This could be a plus if you happen to be a dentist. I say bio-diesel. Just stay alive and you have fertilizer and power.
50 kVA or about 208 amps that just over the average of electrical service of a house is the size of the generator you will need. You cannot run the generator all day; you will simply run out of fuel. What does this mean? Solar panels, wind turbine, and depending on where you place your fortress water wheel. Solar panels that are 59" X 39" X 1 1/2" (5 foot by 4 foot) can produce about 7 amps. You will need about 26 of them to produce the same 208 amps. You do not necessary need all of them because you will most likely not use that much power all at once. A wind turbine is a rotating machine which converts the kinetic energy into mechanical energy. If the mechanical energy is used directly by machinery, such as a pump or grinding stones, the machine is usually called a windmill.
The first utility grid-connected wind turbine operated in the UK was built by the John Brown Company in 1954 in the Orkney Islands. It had an 18 meter diameter, three-bladed rotor and a rated output of 100 kW. Turbines used in wind farms for commercial production of electric power are usually three-bladed and pointed into the wind by computer-controlled motors. Water wheel functions on the same principle as the wind turbine. If you are by a river or other body moving water, and decide to use the water wheel you of course not only will you have power but water and a pumping system.

A few things you may need to know

2009-07-03T13:03:00.001-07:00

I realize that I did not cover any of the disciplines in which you will have to be expertly skilled to weather the impending storm. What shall we cover first? Sustenance (hunting,trapping,fishing,farming), Craftsmanship(carpentry,plumbing,electric,sewing,ect.),Medical(self-explanatory), most important Security. I realize that this is a whole lot for one person to learn. That is why you should ally yourself with people that can specialize in one or two of these talents. Example a carpenter that dabbles in plumbing or a hunter that can fish are skills that usually go hand and hand. As a group you should all have a basic understanding of what the others job entails so that you can take care of yourself or replace them should the become infected. If they are too inept to remove there own splinter cut them loose, you do not need them.I will start with the plumbing system. Drinking water, hygiene,and irrigation are what we will be dealing with. The rain water enters the building from the roof top by one main pipe where it splits of into three smaller pipes each with a shut off valve. One to the cistern the other has a leads to the garden. When it is raining open the valve and the handle to the hand pump ( yes I said hand pump something this important you do not want left up to mechanical failure) so the water will flow through to the garden. On any other day you will have to use the pump to irrigate. Simply close the valve that goes to the roof and begin pumping. If the roof valve is not closed water will expel out the roof. Everyone pumps there own drinking water with the aforementioned pumps from my Basics list. You will be on the honor system so that there is enough water to go around. I will discuss "Laws and Punishment of The Honor System" at another time.Now lets talk about hot water. After all who likes a cold shower? Remember I said three smaller pipes. The third pipe is done in black pvc and circles the roof three or 4 times. Side by side so the surface area is bigger causeing the water to be heated by the sun faster. The showers will be on the floor below the garden and timed to conserve water. Kind of like a camp ground bath house. You can have individual shower rooms for the modest, or a military style a big room. This part is a little gross. As if the walking dead is not bad enough people still have to use the bathroom. So what do you do with the waste? Here me out. According to a report published by the International Water Management Institution (IWMI), “Even in areas where other water sources exist, small farmers often prefer wastewater because its high nutrient content reduces or even eliminates the need for expensive chemical fertilizers.” Wastewater sludge contains the same nutrients as commercial fertilizers: nitrogen, phosphorous, and potassium. Here is the link http://www.findingdulcinea.com/news/environment/July-August-08/Millions-of-Farmers-Use-Human-Waste-as-Fertilizer.html. Do your research. As for the urine http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-purify-urine-into-water/.

Home Sweet Home

2009-07-03T12:58:00.000-07:00

If you can you should build a home using this as a guideline. Like all homes we should start out with the foundation. Your normal foundation is going to be 16" wide X 36' deep. Yours is going to be 48" deep slab. The first story of your new fortress is going to be a solid pour of concrete 18" thick. You are going to want this to be 15 to 20 feet high. There is only door 8' X 8' X 3" steel hinged on the inside opening out. Simple locking mechanism a cross bar three of them. Side note your vehicle is to be parked on the inside of that door chain hooked to door and frame of car with tension on it (helps keeps the door from being pulled open). Retractable ladder from first to second floor only one. The second floor exterior walls are concrete filled block. You may use standard wooden construction on the inside of the home. I would keep it simple, but it is your home. Make it comfortable you may be there a while. Use this sight to order your windows and you door if you want http://www.safezoneballistics.com/products/bulletResistantGlass.html?gclid=CLiOm-LWypgCFRQhnAodd2xN0w.The roof will be your garden green house ( it should go without saying that the also will be made from the same material as the windows. On this roof you will also have a rain catcher the same system that you would find in Bermuda complete with cistern in the 1st floor. Solar panels for independent power http://www.wholesalesolar.com/california.html?source=google&gclid=CImOmtDYypgCFQUWGgodZ2P20w.As for the location. You definitely do not want to be in New Jersey. The most densely populated state in the union. That makes for a lot of corpses. If you stay you are taking a big chance! I would recommend mid-west or further north. Remember Zombies do not have the sense to come in out of the cold so they will freeze making for easy dispatch. I like to lay them down and play golf. 4!!!!!!!You could always just get a sail boat. You eventually run out of gas. Do not forget the fishing pole.

What time you have left

2009-07-03T12:53:00.000-07:00

The bite is first or a scratch. What happens next is as follows. These are scientific medical facts.
Hour 1- Pain and discoloration of the infected area. Immediate clotting of the wound.
Hour 5- Fever between 99 F. and 103 F. Chills, slight dementia, vomiting, and acute pain in the joints.
Hour 8- Numbing of extremities and infected area, increased fever from 103 F to 106 F. increased dementia, loss of muscular coordination
Hour 11- Paralysis in the lower body, overall numbness, slowed heart rate
Hour 16- Coma
Hour 20- Cardiac arrest, cessation of brain activity
Hour 23- Reanimation

Basics

2009-07-03T12:44:00.000-07:00

Basics
1- A couple diffrent knives, you get what you pay for. Knives are tools not a weapons and will be useless on zombies.I have 4 a Kershaw "Needs Work" , KA-BAR Becker Tac Tool, Blast from Latherman, and a 8" Buck fixed blade
2- Leather jacket, a biker one. Bight resistant like the one from Terminator.
3- Boots, something that comes up to your mid calf. Same reason.
4- Leather work gloves.
5- Silenced 22 caliber pistol, small enough that anyone can fire it and you can carry a lot of ammo. This is for zombies, remember in the head. The silencer is to prevent drawing attention to your location.
6- 12 gauge shot gun, semi-auto or pump. Sure a double barrel has style but 2 shots then reload. This is for the uninfected so they do not steal your stuff.
7- Good may lay weapon no reloading. I recommend Eastwing 36". It is a solid one piece of steal. Has an edge for cutting and a hammer like backside. This is to cause simple blunt force trama. A hard hit is a har hit.
8- Flash light with red colored lens, prevents glare. The optimal choice is one that has a crank instead of batteries.
11- Bouillon cube and dried foods : Enough for 5 days
12- Katadyn Hiker Pro Micro filter one filter are good for 200 gallons depending on the dirtiness of the water at a rate of 1 quart per minute. You also want to treat the water with something. Aquamira water purification tablets is my recommendation. You can always boil the water.( A pot and eating utensils should not have to be mentioned.)
13- 9"x12" 9 mils thick and a 4'x8' 3 mils plastic clothes : Light weight and can be made into a shelter.
14- Short wave and fm radio crank powered
15- Hikers pack with hydration pouch
16- Hat, keep the weather out of your face, your own personal style. Have fun with it. I have ball cap and cowboy.
17- Sun glasses, same reason as a hat.
18- Ultimate Survival Tech. Base Camp Kit : Signal mirror, fire starter, camping saw, rescue whistle, wet-fire tinder
19- Compass
20- Range finder, not electronic.
21- 550 cord 200 ft (Paracord 550 lb test)